I think my Barista hates me – How to order good coffee...

We all know the look, you know the one – the annoyed and disgruntled look you get from the barista taking your order as you splatter and blunder your way through your coffee order.

Perhaps you are really particular in the way you have your coffee, or your last experience was pretty crappy & you don’t want it to happen again so you over compensate by explaining EXACTLY what happened last time…yet the barista seems less than enthused by your story. Want to know why?! It’s because the barista ultimately wants to know the number of shots, type of milk & any sugar you might want. No frills, no stories or milk temperature requests.


Making coffee has become a scientific art these days and coffee shops are steering away from the classic 90s cappuccino being full of froth and a flat white having next to none, there is a stronger focus on the type of coffee being used and quality of the ingredients (milk and sugar) so as customers we need to put a bit more faith into our local hunky barista and strip that coffee order back to basics.

Trust us when we say that as baristas we love a good yarn with our customers, we love to hear the ripper weekend stories, the awesome brew you had at the hole in the wall coffee shop you stumbled across or just chat general sh*t, BUT what pains us to here is this…..

So the café down the road served me a coffee 2 days ago that was slightly too milky, and it gave me a sore tummy, so the next day i went to a different coffee joint and asked for my coffee to be not completely full, but that was a bit bitter so I think today I’m going to try a 12oz coffee, ¾ milk and a dash of sugar…oh and I’ll try almond milk this time…. do you think that would taste ok?!

Next time you order a coffee at your local, how about asking them how many shots of coffee they put into their cup (depending on the size you have), you could even enquire about the beans they use so you better understand the type of roast you like (is it light or super dark?) this means you are equipping yourself with knowledge, and when ordering coffee knowledge is power!!


As coffee professionals here is what your local hunky barista wants to know (and what we recommend you find out so you don’t get “that look” when you go to a different coffee shop and attempt to re-create your perfect coffee.

  1. Size of coffee (8oz, 12oz, 16oz) or if you have a re-usable cup it’s awesome to find out what size it is & keep that in mind as a barista may ask when you plonk it down on the bench in-front of them. If you buy a Frank green or KeepCup they will tell you the size on the packaging.

  2. How many shots you want in your coffee – every coffee shop is different with how many shots they put into each size cup so as we said earlier, we recommend asking your local how many shots they put into your ‘perfect’ coffee and keep that in mind when ordering somewhere else.

  3.   Milk type – full cream, skinny, alternative – it’s not hard. Most good shops have great options available if you like alternative milk. Do you take milk all the way up 3/4 full or ½ full?

  4. Do you take sugar with that?  

Stick to this simple 4 step ordering process, cut the bull***t out & you will always get a smile from that hunky barista that’s taking your order.

Want to have a laugh, take our “ What kind of coffee am i” quiz, by clicking here